Air Dance


This weekend went epically south. Like bad…tonight took the cake. 

Turns out our GM is fired and the new guy, the overseer, well he’s under contract for the next 4 months.

He sat us down last night to let us know that if we didn’t start doing legal dances, i.e. air dances, we’d be terminated. 

He also used the divide and conquer tactic. Taking a few dancers, two of my buddies included, one at a time and gave them that talk privately. Seemingly out of nowhere because he hasn’t introduced himself to us dancers.

I cannot even begin to tell you how infuriating that is. All I can think is how manipulative and disrespectful that was. Unfortunately, it’s completely reflective of all the negative things that occur in our industry. But that we can discuss another time. For now I’m going to talk about the heart of the issue: legal lap dances. 

In this town, there is virtually no club that gives a legal dance. Not one. The one club that did got shut down for drugs a few years ago. Since no club really gives legal dances a few problems have cropped up.

Problem one is that any dancer that didn’t dance at that club or has started dancing in the past few years has been giving illegal dances. Problem two, the poor management at other clubs has forced many dancers to come to our club seeking refuge. Compounding problems one and two, many of those dancers are coming from a club that has an especially bad reputation. 

The result is that we have virtually every dancer, rookies and vets, giving an illegal dance. They’re either giving it to keep up with the other girls, or to one up the girls. In both cases, management has had enough. Hence one of the reasons the police are especially up management’s ass and why management is up ours.

Wait, but there’s more!

So in all this they are blaming us, that if we don’t clean up our act, we’re fired. Alright, don’t get me wrong, yes, we as dancers are certainly partly to blame for how the dances got out of control. However, they also have to look at themselves and how they approach managing us before they starting firing dancers all willie nillie. But that would imply that they care for us as dancers, which they don’t. And it would also imply that they care about doing their jobs carefully, mindfully and with the hope of creating permanent change, which they don’t. 

First, they have to acknowledge that dances that each of us is giving are generally illegal. You do that by telling us in a specific way what the laws are and what we can do to not break them. Make it as clear and as simple as possible so there is no question as to we should and shouldn’t be doing. The point in doing this is to give all dancers a chance learn how to give that legal dance and to know what’s expected of them. This process should also be hired for all new dancers. So that way if they do fuck up, no one can say it came out of nowhere. Do this in a way that’s respects as professionals, as employees; which is what management cannot seem to grasp. 

Second, it’s our job to give a legal dance, absolutely. But because of the delicate nature of our job, balancing fantasy with reality, we shouldn’t be the ones solely responsible for making sure a customer behaves. If a customer touches, gropes, kisses, licks, slaps, or otherwise comes into physical contact with us (which is illegal in my town) then the bouncers should be there to tell the customer that they’re either going to stop the dance or kick him out. Period. This helps us manage the customer so we can give a legal dance. This is a role that our bouncers are just not prepared to do yet. If we are lucky enough to have this become the norm, I’m sure we’ll see a change in customers behavior, AND AND, hopefully get better clientele.

Lastly, and the most important, once you start making the changes BE CONSISTENT. No special treatment allowed — not for the prettiest dancers or ugliest, the top earners or low earners, regulars or otherwise. Everyone has to be treated the same or everything falls apart. 

So a group of us dancers got together, including one of my friends who got that private lecture, decided that we’re going to do the legal dance from now on. We’re spreading the word around the club and hopefully each dancer will pass it on to the next so we eventually get on the same page. We figured one of these things is going to happen:

First scenario: We don’t get fired when the new GM starts firing everyone else for illegal dances. Which would mean that only legal dance givers are left, which means maybe less vice visits and possibly more money.

Second scenario: We don’t get fired while this GM is on a rampage, he leaves and at least we’ve weathered the storm.

Third scenario: If each dancer does eventually gets this message, we all end up doing legal dances.

In any of these cases we don’t loose anything other than money in the short term, but the upside is that we stay employed which is more important. 

This legal dance issue brings up a bunch of points I’ve been thinking about lately which I’ll talk about in other posts, two being: 

Inherent distrust between everyone in this industry, between dancers, staff and management. But particularly from dancer to dancer. 

The transient nature of the job which allows for distrust and exploitation.

…Ugh, anyways, I figure this is the closest we’d get to a stripper union. Ooohh, if only.



Anonymous asked:

As far as keeping track of what we make as a dancer each night (for tax records and stuff) should we include how much rent we payed to the club and tips we give to bouncers, dj, etc as well? Thanks!


Yes! Absolutely, especially if you plan on reporting everything you’ve made.

<philosophical detour>

However, it’s kinda funny because a friend and I actually talked about this the other night. If you accept the idea that strippers are an exploited labor class then this tax question is an example of how we are.

If you go to a tax person who isn’t really aware of a dancers expenses, then they may get real confused on what house fees and tip outs are. Why? Because, technically, as told by my ex-tax preparer, we should be 1099-ing the bouncers and DJs because they are our contractors the same way the club should be 1099-ing us. But since we pay them under the table, we can’t technically claim what we tip them. Which is to our disadvantage, considering that it is a legitimate business expense that we cannot write off on our taxes. And to theirs as well, especially if being a bouncer or DJ is their only job…you see if they can’t state their legitimate income they will have the same problems we do buying a car or finding housing.

Which then goes into the question, why should be tip out in the first place? As independent contractors should be be obligated to give money to staff for doing a job that they club hires them for? Should the club give them bonuses instead of us? I know this is pretty standard practice in the nightlife industry, which strip clubs are on the periphery of…and maybe that’s where this practice came from.

Anyways, just a thought.

</philosophical detour>

Hope that answers your question,








If you let a customer touch, you ruin it for the rest of us. Not even your boobs, not even your butt.

Maneuver yourself away from their hands so they start to feel like they are only getting in the way of you giving them a good dance, and if…

Lateral whorephobia ^^^

Do what you need to do. Don’t judge other SWs for whatever the fuck they do to get by. 

Not just lateral whorephobia, but also shitty victim blaming. It is neither possible for nor the responsibility of dancers (or other sex workers), to “train” men in to treating us like human beings whose boundaries deserve to be respected. If every worker behaved
'perfectly' by your standards, men would still be awful, pushy and entitled, because that's what happens when you're immersed in a culture that tells you that women generally, and women sex workers especially, are subject to your whims. The problem isn't 'bad' strippers, the problem is patriarchy, and when you waste time and energy sniping at your colleagues, all you do is support the very structures oppressing you.


The laws for strip clubs are different in every club, every state, every region, every country. So believe it or not, some clubs allow for contact dances and it’s COMPLETELY LEGAL. And as long as the dancer is okay with it, THEN IT’S OKAY. 

Now, if you don’t want people to touch you (in a club where it’s legal to touch) then yes, move their hands, tell them you’re uncomfortable or stop the dance. Also, if it’s accessible to you, work at another club where air dances are standard.

OP, don’t judge other dancers for what they are and aren’t okay with during a dance. 

Anonymous asked:

I'm a newbie one month dancer and I am awful at approaching men :( I kind of just sit there hoping someone will come up and ask me for a dance. How do I get over this fear and shyness of approaching people? help me.


I really wish I had some advice for you, but I don’t. I’m like the least shy person in the world, so I’d be the worst person to ask.

Is there anyone reading this who can give some advice?



Anonymous asked:

At a bikini bar, do we wear an actual bikini? As in a swim suit?


I’m sure in some cases maybe, but generally it just means that dancers don’t remove any clothing at all. They may take them off in dances, but it just depends on the club. I’ve never worked at a biniki club before.



Tonight at the Pyramid: Hypnosis


In the over six years I’ve been dancing I’ve heard and seen some pretty wild things — customers and dancers making out, customers throwing up or passing out during a dance, dancers falling off the pole, customers asking if I could use toys on them, customers wanting to see the tampon string during a dance — you know, wild.

But tonight, tonight took the cake hands down. Maybe because I’m exhausted, maybe because I just wasn’t expecting or maybe because this guy thought I’d be really into it, but it just threw me off completely. He wanted to do an erotic hypnosis session, which he claimed to have done with hundreds of women, so I would come during the dance. I was just too tired to care or to indulge this man’s fantasy; or even to pretend to be into some other kink. As odd as it may sound, I never feel sexual at work, I mean I’m half naked, what else do you want? So when someone asks me to do something more sexual than dance it just seems like overkill, odd and unnecessary. 

This isn’t the only customer that I’ve danced for who was interested in hypnosis. Awhile back there was a regular at this same club who would “hypnotize” the dancers into doing things like making out with each other or acting like a cat. He knew they were pretending, but he didn’t seem to mind. I never liked him, I would only dance for him if I could just dance for him.

However, this customer tonight was too much, I didn’t realize how serious he was about hypnotizing me. He really really thought I was going to go along with it. $300 later he realized I wasn’t and went home. Whatevs, still got my money. 

I guess I just wanted to ask you guys this, has anyone asked for this before with you? Just curious.




Anonymous asked:

Can you explain to me why Tabbydarling just called envy a prostitute?

phoeniiiix answered:

Sure can! Tabby believes in this mythical concept called, “the whorearchy.” It’s a concept so very flawed that the majority of SWs don’t endorse it. The concept relies on the misguided belief that there is a ranking of sex workers that varies from cam girls being the top tier to sugar babies to strippers. In nearly all variations of the whorearchy distribution, escorts are universally placed at the bottom tier.

Endorsing the whorearchy is the equivalent of saying that you believe a scanner is better than a packer who is better than the shipper who is better than the custodian. Doesn’t make any sense, does it?

Each variation of sex work has it’s benefits and disadvantages, and any attempt to rank them is simply not feasible if you want a legitimate rank with actual quantifiable data.

In essence, tabby is ashamed of the fact that she’s a stripper. She attempts to distance herself from what she does by saying she’s better than other sex workers. It’s a horrid little concept, and in that respect it matches Tabby perfectly.

Tabby was attempting to insult and degrade Envy by reducing her entire personhood to a single action. Since Tabby believes escorts are beneath her, she was attempting to show that Envy is beneath her. She felt the need to do so because she is well aware that she cannot match Envy’s intelligence, beauty, skill, ambition, compassion, or happiness.

Tabby also seems to lack the understanding of impermanence. She believes that since Envy did escort on at least one occasion, that she must at this very moment be an escort. Based on Tabby’s logic, I’m still a high school student because I once was, even if I haven’t been a high school student in 6 years.

Hope that answers your question.

The most accurate reply ever.